(no subject)

I just wish I understood...
At least how I feel.
Is that so much to ask?

I spent yesterday with Robert. My best friend for the last, almost 11 years now. I've known him longer than i've known anyone else in my life. I consider his family as my family in a way. I love them all like siblings. It was great to see him again, it's been a while. I was worried though, about angering his girlfriend Brandi by hanging around too much. I know I've run off a girlfriend or two before who didn't like me. I don't want to see him hurt again like he gets after a breakup.

I guess I love Rob in my own way. I can't explain it though. I love him, I would do anything to keep from ever seeing him so much as frown, but I don't know what kind of love it is really. So he's my brother, my other little/big brother. Until I maybe can know what I feel. I certainly wouldn't change how things are now, I like how things are now.

Except, I wish I was friends with Brandi, so I wouldn't feel like I was intruding on the two of them, or so she would feel like she could tell me if I am. *shrugs* Oh well.

Personality Disorder Test

I thought it might be interesting to take since i've seen results in several other LJs. *shrugs*

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Schizoid: People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."
Schizotypal: Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.
Avoidant: Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.
Dependent: Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

No medium spots for me huh?
Hmm... Dunno how much any of that actually fits me. I think the entire thing is awfully quick for judging people anyway. Interesting though.