Close?... I can't be.... never...

[elfgrove]

I'm starting to really care about the people here... oh shit.. I'm in trouble.

Everyone I care about seems to be getting hurt physically or mentally, even dying, a lot recently. I need to distance myself from people. Best way to keep them safe. I have a strange feeling that i'm gonna have to deal with Guinuana again soon. I don't want to put anyone in danger... and her threat to me... I know exactly who's gonna be in the greatest danger. I hope I can handle another confrontation. I can't afford to lose.

Comments

[elfgrove.livejournal.com]

No, you're right. I'm not a supreme being. It's not that I really expect myself to not care, it's more of a situation where I try not to show it. If people start caring about me, I worry that they'll get hurt in the end because of it. I don't really want to not care about people; I know I can't do that. But, the fewer people who would be a deeply hurt if I were to dissapear, the fewer people who care enough about me to be a target for my enemies... the better.

I'm used to pain, and handling it on my own. I simply can't get used to the idea of causing or not being able to prevent it.

No they shouldn't be thrown away because of what might happen. I do have an ally or two. But I try to keep it at a minimum, why put an army at risk when only one or two must fight?

[dustyx.livejournal.com]

I once had the same view. I never showed my weaknesses, because inside I had to be so strong. To keep those I cared from falling. I once never showed that I really cared. But when left alone and no-one to be strong for, the stone itself can crumble. I feared getting close to anyone because I thought myself that being close to anyone caused them to hurt or to die because that is all that ever happened to anyone close to me. I know of at least 13 people I've lost to that evil curse of death. A sick painful cycle since when I was 7 and lost the first person in my life. It has only been recently that I even began to let myself to be truly close to anyone and have a deep bond. Prior to ever letting anyone get close, Pain itself was my only companion. It has been only now that I let my emotions and feelings surface and show my trueself to anyone. But to say that I never cared is an understatement. As much as or as little as I may really know, I do care and would always help. Pain is a constant emotion in life, preventing it is impossible. I can minimize the pain so much but there must be pain. So much I would do for one like you, one who I considered a friend. Don't shut everyone out, there are quite a few who know how to deal and accept pain.

~dX

Don't worry about it.

[elfgrove.livejournal.com]

I'm used to being how I am. Changing would be to hard. I am, strange as it sounds, relatively content in my current situation.