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Things only get complicated.
Thanks to whomever showed concern about the fact that I try to not let people care about me... I have my reasons though... And there aren't many out there who can understand them. This includes you Radar. No one's going to understand it unless there as deep in some of the shit that I am in.
If I want to deal with it alone, let me. I'm not asking for that much.
I've considered suicide a lot recently, but, they way things figure, I can't afford it. The things i've been involved in, if I disappear, un-involved people might suffer. I can't allow that.
I saw someone in dustyX's friends asking how do you deal? I don't know how I deal. I think I do because I have no choice. Protecting the people I care about from my mistakes comes first. I may not care a lot about myself sometimes, but I care too much about them to not protect them from everything I can. I can't take the easy way out.
What was ironic was the last variation of the question:
--- How do you deal, looking up at the stars and realizing you do NOT belong on earth, that you were born in the wrong form, place, time, EVERYTHING, and wondering whether you should correct that error on your own? ---
I doubt she means that literally. Were it my comment, I would. I do do look up at the stars and KNOW that I do not belong on Earth. I KNOW that this is not the form I am supposed to be wearing. I KNOW I'm supposed to somewhere else. And I have considered correcting the error, except I know the error would only begin again because things are destined to be like that. And people might suffer were I to give up. I'm a warrior from another time, another world. I'm half elf / half evifie stuck in a human body. I miss being what I should be. Compare the picture below to the default one in my menu. See the problem? I'm trapped in this place.
How do I deal? I simply do because I must. You can too. Someone took the knife away for you; you have no idea how amazing that is.
If I want to deal with it alone, let me. I'm not asking for that much.
I've considered suicide a lot recently, but, they way things figure, I can't afford it. The things i've been involved in, if I disappear, un-involved people might suffer. I can't allow that.
I saw someone in dustyX's friends asking how do you deal? I don't know how I deal. I think I do because I have no choice. Protecting the people I care about from my mistakes comes first. I may not care a lot about myself sometimes, but I care too much about them to not protect them from everything I can. I can't take the easy way out.
What was ironic was the last variation of the question:
--- How do you deal, looking up at the stars and realizing you do NOT belong on earth, that you were born in the wrong form, place, time, EVERYTHING, and wondering whether you should correct that error on your own? ---
I doubt she means that literally. Were it my comment, I would. I do do look up at the stars and KNOW that I do not belong on Earth. I KNOW that this is not the form I am supposed to be wearing. I KNOW I'm supposed to somewhere else. And I have considered correcting the error, except I know the error would only begin again because things are destined to be like that. And people might suffer were I to give up. I'm a warrior from another time, another world. I'm half elf / half evifie stuck in a human body. I miss being what I should be. Compare the picture below to the default one in my menu. See the problem? I'm trapped in this place.
How do I deal? I simply do because I must. You can too. Someone took the knife away for you; you have no idea how amazing that is.
- Rude, "Letting Go of the Past" by ZealPropht |