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Jan. 19th, 2004 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfgrove Mood: contemplative |
BJ fell down some stairs before his shooting match this weekend. Scary thought. Mom says he's okay though. Mom apparently took a nasty spill too, hit her head really hard. She said her "forehead bruised so bad it started bleeding" and she keeps "expecting to look in the mirror and the area around her eye to be completely black. But it must not show too much, because no one at work seemed to notice.
Also, earlier this weekend, she called to let me know they'd identified Eddie's cancer as thyroid, and very treatable. Thank god for small favors. I never know how to feel about Eddie. He's the son of my Father's closest (and elder) brother, Butch, who died before I was born. Butch died due to a brain tumor, but the week before he died he said two things. One, was for my Dad to not come back to the hospital. I've been told Dad and Butch were like twins sometimes with how close they were, right down to the inexplicable bond that seemed almost psychic. Mom and Aunt Jani have said that Butch knew seeing him like that, that my Dad was suffering worse than he was, and it made him hurt to see Dad hurting. Mom and Dad complied with that wish. The other thing was that he told my parents that they would meet him again, as a "beautiful young, blue-eyed blonde girl", and that he wouldn't remember having been Butch. Mom and Dad always believed, or told me that they did, that I am Butch's reincarnation. I don't think I ever decided whether or not to believe it myself, but it meant a lot that they thought that, and that even thinking so, they never expected me to be Butch. Though once or twice, similarities have been pointed out. But it always made things around Eddie odd, especially when he found out that I'm supposed to be his father's reincarnation. I'm probably around 2 decades his junior; I don't know Eddie's age. He was drunk at a family get together when he found out, and started freaking out over various unfinished issues he has towards his father, wanting me to resolve them. He has never brought it up again, but it was the only time "being Butch" had ever upset me. That, and remembering the look on his face when my family gave him a sword for Christmas one year, are my only strong memories of Eddie. I have no memories of being his father, though at times I wonder if my bond with my father was just my Dad and I or if at least some of it wasn't remnants of having been Butch.
When I learned Eddie was being diagnosed with cancer, I didn't know how to feel... I mean who is Eddie to me? I don't know. Other than that he is family, and for that alone, I do care deeply for him. But it is an odd situation to think of emotionally, because, who am I to Eddie? Am I his cousin, or does he see me as his father's reincarnation first?
♣ ♣ ♣
...
On a happier note!
Walker resigned as the University's President at 5pm Friday. People actually rolled Toomer's Corner in celebration. Heh. Now for those dumb ass Trustees.
I went to Jason's place in Montgomery for an anime fest on Saturday. It was fun.
Mer was kind enough to drive. She and I tried really hard to find the Zoo and visit Michelle there beforehand, but we never found the zoo, we just got lost a bunch. I'm an idiot when it comes to Montgomery and directions it seems. We finally gave up and met Michelle at her house then carpooled to Jason's. I really enjoyed the time hanging out with Mer though, even if we were lost. She's odd in a really adorable way. She has this really great way of viewing the world. Very cool.
I got to see Will again; he was, as per normal, drunk. Fool. But I enjoyed harassing him. The other guys there seemed to decide I was someone to fear. XP I’m not that terrible a person. Yeesh. You’d think I was a delinquent with a mile-long wrap sheet the way people behave sometimes.
Jason let me borrow his fan subs of Hana Yori Dango (Boys Over Flowers) because I've been reading the manga. It's a fun series.
Sunday evening I went to Jamie's place and hung out with her, Chris(Kyn-Kyn), and LHDave for a while, we hung out and watched some anime, Jamie and I tormented the guys and they tickled and tormented back, then I left to pass out at my apt. I oughta get my externalHD (Eclipse - my PC is Raenef) back from them, the guys borrowed it overnight to get stuff off it.
Hung out with Ashley briefly today.
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Date: 2004-01-20 06:25 am (UTC)Everyone at one point or another usually has beein reincarnated. Sometimes we remember things, sometimes we don't.
But some people don't realize you are not the same person you were then. Nor do you even usually remember what happened then. If it wasn't so a person could hardly stay sane after so many millenia of knowing everything.
I hope that your family might let you be you, instead of hoping you are someone who you once (maybe) were but now you're you. You are Lycorne.
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Date: 2004-01-20 06:39 am (UTC)My parents, and all of Butch's other siblings, have never once expected me to be anything but myself. The worst I ever heard, outside of the one incident with Eddie, was that they could see similarities in how we think and behave, but I was still very different. And a lot of the similarities might be chalked up to being like my Dad.
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Date: 2004-01-20 07:16 am (UTC)I'm glad your family understands, they sound like great people to be in your family.
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Date: 2004-01-20 10:12 am (UTC)You didn't come across as rude, only as if you had the wrong impression.
I felt I ought to correct it, because the truth is the truth, but also because my Mom reads this, and it's even more important that she doesn't get the wrong impression.
So no worries.
Forgive me for being a bit brash in my replies.
no subject
Date: 2004-01-20 10:38 am (UTC)