Leaving College Entry 2 -- And thoughts turn to those years in High Scool

It's amazing. Someone from my high school managed to find me on Live Journal. How did you find me anyways Radar?
It's great to hear from him again. We had fun joking around in classes. Poison Elves references in Calculus... I was the Poison Elves book-mobile.^_~ You just had to be there. I wonder whatever happened to Coach Black our "history teacher"? Gods know the man couldn't teach history. I know he's not at the Green anymore.

Our high school was Hazel Green... "The Green"... Heh. Now that is a term I haven't heard in forever... Hey Radar? I thought it was always "hell with fluorescent lighting"?

You know what? I actually miss that rathole! Not just the people, I expected to miss my friends, but I miss the damned rathole itself. What's wrong with me? ^_~

"Don't worry about the meaning, we're just trying to see how long we can drag this conversation out." - Matt, AU anime Club, 04.17.2001

Leaving College Entry 3 -- Blank Walls

Wow. It's so strange... All the photos and posters I had plastered to the walls are now all neatly stacked or rolled up, sitting in the nearly empty closet that would've belonged to my roomate had she not moved out after 2 weeks.

The walls are so blank. It looks sad and empty here... How odd. I always thought it looked empty before, but now, with the blank walls... It's so strange...

I'm going to go now...

Walking Man's Road

Horizon
Rising
up to meet
the purple dawn

Dust Demon
Screaming

Bring an eagle to lead me on
For in my heart
I carry such a heavy load

Here I am on man’s road
Walking man’s road
Walking man’s road

I’m Hungry
Weary
But I cannot lay me down
The rain comes
Dreary
But there’s no shelter I have found
It will be a long time
‘til I find my abode

Here I am on man’s road
Walking man’s road
Walking man’s road

Moon Rising
Disguising
Lonely streets in gay display
The stars fade
The night shade
All that makes the world afraid
It waits in silence for the sky to explode

Here I am on man’s road
Walking man’s road
Walking man’s road
(fading out)
Walking man’s road
Walking man’s road

Online Comics

These are great online comics if you're looking for something worth reading:

Mega Tokyo - It all began when two gaming nuts tried to break into E3, and the next thing you know, they're stuck in Japan with no money, no way home, and some very strange situations...
Updates every: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

Strange Candy - A mysterious book... an impossible desire. It all began with the selfish dream and the powerful incantation. The lives of six people at Tokyo Tower that fateful day shall never be the same again... Ed and Dom from Mega Tokyo appear in here.
Updates every: Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday

Fanboy Otaku Gamer's Club - Two guys, two girls, and a college anime club...
Updates every: Day

Magical Boys - Chaos threatens to envelop the land, now the council of mages must summon three girls from another world to take up the magic talismans and seal the Chaos into the Abyss once more. But something goes wrong, they accidentally summon boys... "Sometimes it takes a boy to do a girl's job."
Updates every: other month

Things only get complicated.

Thanks to whomever showed concern about the fact that I try to not let people care about me... I have my reasons though... And there aren't many out there who can understand them. This includes you Radar. No one's going to understand it unless there as deep in some of the shit that I am in.

If I want to deal with it alone, let me. I'm not asking for that much.

I've considered suicide a lot recently, but, they way things figure, I can't afford it. The things i've been involved in, if I disappear, un-involved people might suffer. I can't allow that.

I saw someone in dustyX's friends asking how do you deal? I don't know how I deal. I think I do because I have no choice. Protecting the people I care about from my mistakes comes first. I may not care a lot about myself sometimes, but I care too much about them to not protect them from everything I can. I can't take the easy way out.

What was ironic was the last variation of the question:
--- How do you deal, looking up at the stars and realizing you do NOT belong on earth, that you were born in the wrong form, place, time, EVERYTHING, and wondering whether you should correct that error on your own? ---
I doubt she means that literally. Were it my comment, I would. I do do look up at the stars and KNOW that I do not belong on Earth. I KNOW that this is not the form I am supposed to be wearing. I KNOW I'm supposed to somewhere else. And I have considered correcting the error, except I know the error would only begin again because things are destined to be like that. And people might suffer were I to give up. I'm a warrior from another time, another world. I'm half elf / half evifie stuck in a human body. I miss being what I should be. Compare the picture below to the default one in my menu. See the problem? I'm trapped in this place.

How do I deal? I simply do because I must. You can too. Someone took the knife away for you; you have no idea how amazing that is.

"Lady, we're all lost. We've all lost our way...There is no escaping our destiny. You can run from it for a little while, but it's always there waiting for you at the end of the line." - Rude, "Letting Go of the Past" by ZealPropht