Leaving College Entry 1 -- I'm gonna miss this place

Hey all. This'll be my first post in regards to me leaving college.

For the summer! Summer only! Heh. Worry you for a second? Doubtful. Not like anyone'd notice.


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I had fun today. I was the crone for the May day ritual today. I 'killed' the May King with a wooden shojo mallet. That was so funny. Poor guy. He was helping out by playing that part for us.
Actually the poor guy part came in before I killed him, he was tied to the May Pole and tortured by almost everyone... Lipstick on his face, feathers, "dry-humped" [to use his terms] by the Man/Woman... He's not even pagan, his girlfriend, the May Queen is. "That's what you get for dating a pagan" as Cliff put it.
It was fun, after ritual we sat around talking, listening to music general fun-ness. I really enjoyed it.
I left when it started raining, I didn't want my car to get stuck in mud or something.
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Next weekend I pack up and go home. One week kiddos. Wow...
I didn't think it was coming so soon. Just when I was starting to really care about people... It's probably for the best. I refuse to create yet another weakness for myself. Caring for people... is a weakness that I will not allow myself to have. It only puts both them and myself in danger. I won't have it.

I thank you for your offer, but I do not really fit in here. To tell you the truth, I do not feel like I fit in anywhere or at any time period in this world... - Robo, "The Year of Robo Ch. 25" by Robo

Close?... I can't be.... never...

I'm starting to really care about the people here... oh shit.. I'm in trouble.

Everyone I care about seems to be getting hurt physically or mentally, even dying, a lot recently. I need to distance myself from people. Best way to keep them safe. I have a strange feeling that i'm gonna have to deal with Guinuana again soon. I don't want to put anyone in danger... and her threat to me... I know exactly who's gonna be in the greatest danger. I hope I can handle another confrontation. I can't afford to lose.

Collected Quotes from my Live journal so far

I'm starting to really care about the people here... oh shit.. I'm in trouble. - 8:58 pm, 04.28.2001 -

It's probably for the best. I refuse to create yet another weakness for myself. Caring for people... is a weakness that I will not allow myself to have. It only puts both them and myself in danger. I won't have it. - 6:46 pm, 04.28.2001 -

Happy Days.... Those used to happen to me, right? - 10:02 pm, 04.19.2001 -

His words rang empty for me. - 6:17 pm, 04.18.2001 -

What if it was me in the ground? Would you be calling me crazy too? - 6:17 pm, 04.18.2001 -

Harsh world full of harsh people, who don't care anymore, and don't notice they don't. - 9:55 pm, 04.09.2001 -

When your on the sixth floor of a building and there are no trees except across the road, then you hear tapping on your window after having bad vibes all night, upping your shields seems like a good idea. - 9:54 am, 04.08.2001 -

I'm currently in a mode of thinking where telling the gods to go screw themselves sounds like one of my better options. - 4:21 pm, 04.01.2001 -

had to hear this from... my back-stabbing bastard of an aunt - 4:21 pm, 04.01.2001 -

She cried as she told me, so I didn't. I haven't. I can't. Someone has to be strong. I won't put that on my mother's shoulders. She's lost too much recently. - 4:21 pm, 04.01.2001 -

but it isn't pain... It's just a lack... of anything.... - 10:04 pm, 03.13.2001 -

emotions seem somewhat... distant... In the past, the way things happened, they had to be... - 10:04 pm, 03.13.2001 -

Heh, I am an official loser... - 11:12 am, 03.10.2001 -

This morning, I am wondering what the hell got me out at a party last night. I don't do parties. I can barely deal with people. - 11:12 am, 03.10.2001 -

Damn Loner nature... - 11:12 am, 03.10.2001 -

I was afraid that it would be true though... - 11:12 am, 03.10.2001 -

They had some guts pulling that. - 4:12 pm, 03.09.2001 -