![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Thinking about stuff...
Nov. 15th, 2001 06:25 pm15 kids just got expelled from college for doing something idiotic this past halloween. And I understand why. What i'm not sure of is... if it was right.
They made one dumb move, and are now marked for life... But then again... It was exceedingly dumb.
Yet at the same time... I'm angry.
If they had dressed up as native americans, or as muslims, or as chinese or japanese people and acted similarly... If it had been a black frat that had dressed up as hillbillys and run around being idiots... No one would have blinked.
I don't condone what happened in the least. I'm only angry because I know that the reaction would not be the same had it been anyone else...
I couldn't help but remember today...
Being the small girl who had barely become used to riding a bus to school in the past two years. Who didn't know she wasn't supposed to sit at the back. Who had bruises from being pushed down the bus steps and shoved out of seats. Because I was a white girl sitting in the wrong section of the bus, and I didn't understand why I had no right to sit there. I remember going to the school counselor in tears. I remember being told I was making up stories and over-reacting. I remember my mother trying to do something. I remember being told I was racist. I remember the counselor telling my mother she should do something about my lying and put a stop to this racist attitude I had. I remember being terrified of getting on and off the bus. Every day. I remember the only person who worked at the school who believed me and tried to help me and mom was the elementary school principal. I remember I was in middle school and Mr. Walker, the only black adminisrator being the only one willing to say something to the black girls on the bus who were a year older than me and pulling these stunts.
I remember learning what racism was was and learning the hard way what no one remembers.... It goes both ways....
I remember the fact that years later I was still scared of these girls. Scared they would get it in their heads to shove me down the bus stairs again. Scared they would get it in their heads to do something worse... I was a small kid anyways, and these girls were tall and a year older, one easily twice my size... And the three of them made me the bad guy. And I couldn't say a single thing in retaliation. Because that would be racist.
I... I can't condone racism. In any direction its wrong. What pisses me off is that no one would've given a shit if what had happened at that frat house had been anything but white kids being racist against blacks. And I would slap them if I knew those idiots. What in the hell was going through their heads?
I'm angry because someone's going to expect me to all but bow and scrape everytime a black kid gets the least bit offended. I've been there. I hated that. And it only upsets me because some people honestly believe anything less is racism. But only in that direction.
They made one dumb move, and are now marked for life... But then again... It was exceedingly dumb.
Yet at the same time... I'm angry.
If they had dressed up as native americans, or as muslims, or as chinese or japanese people and acted similarly... If it had been a black frat that had dressed up as hillbillys and run around being idiots... No one would have blinked.
I don't condone what happened in the least. I'm only angry because I know that the reaction would not be the same had it been anyone else...
I couldn't help but remember today...
Being the small girl who had barely become used to riding a bus to school in the past two years. Who didn't know she wasn't supposed to sit at the back. Who had bruises from being pushed down the bus steps and shoved out of seats. Because I was a white girl sitting in the wrong section of the bus, and I didn't understand why I had no right to sit there. I remember going to the school counselor in tears. I remember being told I was making up stories and over-reacting. I remember my mother trying to do something. I remember being told I was racist. I remember the counselor telling my mother she should do something about my lying and put a stop to this racist attitude I had. I remember being terrified of getting on and off the bus. Every day. I remember the only person who worked at the school who believed me and tried to help me and mom was the elementary school principal. I remember I was in middle school and Mr. Walker, the only black adminisrator being the only one willing to say something to the black girls on the bus who were a year older than me and pulling these stunts.
I remember learning what racism was was and learning the hard way what no one remembers.... It goes both ways....
I remember the fact that years later I was still scared of these girls. Scared they would get it in their heads to shove me down the bus stairs again. Scared they would get it in their heads to do something worse... I was a small kid anyways, and these girls were tall and a year older, one easily twice my size... And the three of them made me the bad guy. And I couldn't say a single thing in retaliation. Because that would be racist.
I... I can't condone racism. In any direction its wrong. What pisses me off is that no one would've given a shit if what had happened at that frat house had been anything but white kids being racist against blacks. And I would slap them if I knew those idiots. What in the hell was going through their heads?
I'm angry because someone's going to expect me to all but bow and scrape everytime a black kid gets the least bit offended. I've been there. I hated that. And it only upsets me because some people honestly believe anything less is racism. But only in that direction.
