Thinking about stuff...
Nov. 15th, 2001 06:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfgrove15 kids just got expelled from college for doing something idiotic this past halloween. And I understand why. What i'm not sure of is... if it was right.
They made one dumb move, and are now marked for life... But then again... It was exceedingly dumb.
Yet at the same time... I'm angry.
If they had dressed up as native americans, or as muslims, or as chinese or japanese people and acted similarly... If it had been a black frat that had dressed up as hillbillys and run around being idiots... No one would have blinked.
I don't condone what happened in the least. I'm only angry because I know that the reaction would not be the same had it been anyone else...
I couldn't help but remember today...
Being the small girl who had barely become used to riding a bus to school in the past two years. Who didn't know she wasn't supposed to sit at the back. Who had bruises from being pushed down the bus steps and shoved out of seats. Because I was a white girl sitting in the wrong section of the bus, and I didn't understand why I had no right to sit there. I remember going to the school counselor in tears. I remember being told I was making up stories and over-reacting. I remember my mother trying to do something. I remember being told I was racist. I remember the counselor telling my mother she should do something about my lying and put a stop to this racist attitude I had. I remember being terrified of getting on and off the bus. Every day. I remember the only person who worked at the school who believed me and tried to help me and mom was the elementary school principal. I remember I was in middle school and Mr. Walker, the only black adminisrator being the only one willing to say something to the black girls on the bus who were a year older than me and pulling these stunts.
I remember learning what racism was was and learning the hard way what no one remembers.... It goes both ways....
I remember the fact that years later I was still scared of these girls. Scared they would get it in their heads to shove me down the bus stairs again. Scared they would get it in their heads to do something worse... I was a small kid anyways, and these girls were tall and a year older, one easily twice my size... And the three of them made me the bad guy. And I couldn't say a single thing in retaliation. Because that would be racist.
I... I can't condone racism. In any direction its wrong. What pisses me off is that no one would've given a shit if what had happened at that frat house had been anything but white kids being racist against blacks. And I would slap them if I knew those idiots. What in the hell was going through their heads?
I'm angry because someone's going to expect me to all but bow and scrape everytime a black kid gets the least bit offended. I've been there. I hated that. And it only upsets me because some people honestly believe anything less is racism. But only in that direction.
They made one dumb move, and are now marked for life... But then again... It was exceedingly dumb.
Yet at the same time... I'm angry.
If they had dressed up as native americans, or as muslims, or as chinese or japanese people and acted similarly... If it had been a black frat that had dressed up as hillbillys and run around being idiots... No one would have blinked.
I don't condone what happened in the least. I'm only angry because I know that the reaction would not be the same had it been anyone else...
I couldn't help but remember today...
Being the small girl who had barely become used to riding a bus to school in the past two years. Who didn't know she wasn't supposed to sit at the back. Who had bruises from being pushed down the bus steps and shoved out of seats. Because I was a white girl sitting in the wrong section of the bus, and I didn't understand why I had no right to sit there. I remember going to the school counselor in tears. I remember being told I was making up stories and over-reacting. I remember my mother trying to do something. I remember being told I was racist. I remember the counselor telling my mother she should do something about my lying and put a stop to this racist attitude I had. I remember being terrified of getting on and off the bus. Every day. I remember the only person who worked at the school who believed me and tried to help me and mom was the elementary school principal. I remember I was in middle school and Mr. Walker, the only black adminisrator being the only one willing to say something to the black girls on the bus who were a year older than me and pulling these stunts.
I remember learning what racism was was and learning the hard way what no one remembers.... It goes both ways....
I remember the fact that years later I was still scared of these girls. Scared they would get it in their heads to shove me down the bus stairs again. Scared they would get it in their heads to do something worse... I was a small kid anyways, and these girls were tall and a year older, one easily twice my size... And the three of them made me the bad guy. And I couldn't say a single thing in retaliation. Because that would be racist.
I... I can't condone racism. In any direction its wrong. What pisses me off is that no one would've given a shit if what had happened at that frat house had been anything but white kids being racist against blacks. And I would slap them if I knew those idiots. What in the hell was going through their heads?
I'm angry because someone's going to expect me to all but bow and scrape everytime a black kid gets the least bit offended. I've been there. I hated that. And it only upsets me because some people honestly believe anything less is racism. But only in that direction.
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no subject
Date: 2001-11-15 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-11-15 09:28 pm (UTC)I've lamented this before. I'm sorry it managed to hit you in such a personal way. *hugs*
I had this same problem in grade school when I was being bullied by an Irish kid who was a few years older, gigantic, and had friends who'd pin me down while he pummelled me. When I tried to report him the school said they couldn't get involved because his parents had pre-emptively contacted them and said I was using ethnic slurs and picking on his younger brother for racist reasons. (I wasn't doing either at all)
The whole 'repressed black culture' thing is fine with me if it causes people to band together - what I don't care for is how many avenues of 'vengeful' hatred I have to sit through as a result of others being proud of who they are.
It makes me grumble that any race other than caucasian can claim minority status in just about everything, and use their birthrights for special priviledges. But then again all this stuff makes my head want to explode. blargy-o.
Don't apologize for having feelings other than ^_^ - we love all of you, not just the cute & fun stuff. *hugs more*
Iniach
Date: 2001-11-16 01:29 pm (UTC)Humans are a species that always use lies in all their wars. I've had bullies that are people I hadn't seen for years and they transfer to my school and go around torturing me, then later make up a lie saying I called their mother a name as an excuse. Much in human history they used religious missionary work as a lying reason for conquest and slavery.
As for your experience, perhaps the souls of the white people that went around tormenting blacks all the time incarnated into black people in this lifetime, yet continued to be racist?
I think you should get your story out to some public activist group that will be on your side and listen. You could also get on a talk show (avoid Springer), but you'd have to confront your tormentors on the show.
Iniach
Date: 2001-11-16 01:36 pm (UTC)Here's a character example from a plot to a game I was thinking up. It's the same way I noticed the scum on the street only hassle poor people for money, whereas the rich people drive by in their cars.
Hassling Dirty Guy on the Street -- When I was in college I drove a car that barely ran, had almost no money for food, and walked to school. In the afternoons these guys would mob me hassling me for money. Sometimes they'd say they're homeless and want to buy food at a restaurant (umm 'scuze me but during the time I bought stuff on sale at the grocery store since restaurants cost 3x as much). I'd be walking along by a busy street and people in cars would drive around and stop and tell me they're out of gas, even though my car was so broken down that I'm lucky to get it started with a full tank of gas and I can't afford to repair it. Or I'd be leaving a shooping area and my car looked junkier than those found in Afghanistan, but they'd chase me down and if I didn't stop they'd flip me off if I didn't stop.
(yes this is one of the bad-guy characters in the game)
Iniach
Date: 2001-11-16 05:46 pm (UTC)Or The Animal. This black guy rants about how he gets all these special privlidges and well I won't spoil the ending but he confesses to someone else's murder to save a friend and nobody wants to bust him 'cause he's black.
Or Down to Earth. Chris Rock's character was a black guy that and heaven messed up and puts him in a temporary body--a white guy. And the white guy hears a black guy's car sterio and is singing to it, and gets beat nearly to death because the song says "nigga".
Rush Hour 1, Jackie Chan immitates his black parnter and asks "What's up my nigga?" A large bar fight breaks out. If not for his skills, the guy would be dead.
South Park (not the movie), Cartman throws a rock at a kid for calling him fat. The kid was black so Cartman is sent to jail because they said he committed a hate crime. Cartman says "no I don't hate black people, I hate hippies."
OJ Simpson -- does this really need an explanation?
"White Men Can't Jump" -- I don't remember it, but the title is racist.