DCU is making me a happy fangirl.

[elfgrove]

Okay guys, let me tell you.
I found my cheer ups in the DCU comics today.

The reason for this is obvious.
BART ALLEN IS BACK!
(I've been harping on this and the theories as to why for MONTHS. This is not spoilers for the people that read my LJ.)

*** Under the cut is full of DCU spoilers. ***

BUT WAIT! There's more!
Comic page scans are taken from scans_daily and heartbart.

First off, Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds issue #3 of 5.
I swear, buy it. Just because SuperBRAT-Prime is hilarious. (And I'd love to send DCU a keep Bart message in the form of a sales spike.

Okay, let's get caught up. Suberboy-Prime and the Legion of Super-Villains are wiping the floor with --well-- EVERYONE in the 31st Century. (I kid you not, Superboy-Prime just heat visioned a gaping hole through Superman's hand. "My name is NOT Clark! Clark is a GEEK NAME!" That boy has issues~...)
Meanwhile, we have all 3 Legions of Super-Heroes. 3 Brainiac 5s. (One of which is an adult. Reboot!Brainy admires adult!Brainy, while 3boot!Brainy is just kind of going, "bitch-bitch-bitch, no you're wrong, bitch-bitch, brown-noser, fogie, out of my way!". Hilarity.)

Now, we have Jenni Ognats(XS), Bart's first cousin gets a little history explained, with some retooling of her and Bart's Origins. Small retools for Bart, bigger for her. (Originally Jenni didn't get her speed powers until she grew -naturally- to a teenager. It was why she was more mature than Bart. Not being raised in VR or having always had super-speed.



Out in the giant multiple legions and Superman vs. legion of supervillains and Superboy-Prime, some psychics let the proverbial cat out of the bag revealing to Superboy-Prime what part of their plan to take his butt down is.
Saturn Queen: Superboy, forget them. You need to stop--
3 Saturn Girls: She's trying to WARN him. Block her thoughts!
[They FAIL.]
Saturn Queen: ...The Legion... Headquarters... ...Lightning... to bring HIM... Back...
[SuperPRAT-Prime starts to panic. Oh, but I do love this.]
Superboy-Prime: n-N-NO. [tussle with various Legionarres] NOT HIM! I WON'T LET THEM BRING BACK HIM!! [kill a SunBoy] He CAN'T come BACK!
[More fighting as Superboy-Prime drops everything to fly over and bust into Legion headquarters.]




ScaredyPants-Prime busts in, and starts flying down corridors trying to get to where the resurrection is going down.
Superboy-Prime: He's just a stupid kid! He doesn't matter!
[gettin' closer]
Oh no! Please, no!
[CLOSER]
Don't be scared now!
[Oh look-it, a Kid Flash costume.]



ScaredyPants-Prime is all, "Eeeeeekkkk!!"
And Bart's all like, "BOO."


We shall be a gracious fan girl and ignore that the colorist is made of fail. (P.S. Bart has brown hair and gold eyes silly man. Get with it. --But this would be far from the first time a new artist to drawing Bart screwed up his colors. that uniform --Kid Flash II-- and the rest of the circumstances are unmistakable.)

Discussions about ScaredyPants-Prime and Bart's return have been hilarious.

sentienttoaster
IT'S MINI FLASH, BACK FROM THE DEAD! Does this mean that Tim Drake can be happy again? Happy Tim can be happy?

icon_uk
That WOULD be nice wouldn't it, but he's busy shutting out all his friends in the Titans, and concentrating on obsessing in Gotham.

sentienttoaster
...Maybe if we send him a muffin basket he'll get better.

A muffin basket with Bart in it. Also, one of those tiny little cans of soda, the really tiny ones.

buttler
Dear Tim,

Fuck you, have a cupcake.

Love,
Starro

quetz
Starro has much greater success as a baker/caterer than it ever did as a galactic conqueror.

buttler
That's where the mass production of little Starro drones and Easy-Bake Ovens come in handy.

--------------

mmsophia
YES!!!!
And I really don't CARE what happened to the "adult" Bart, or who the Rogues beat to death.
I just am glad to see Bart back. The real, synapse-to-action Bart.
And hey, if there's any hero who should be familiar with the concept of "reboot" it would be Bart who grew up in a video game...
And it shows Max Mercury was wrong. If Bart dies in real life, he DOES get another life.

lycorne
"it shows Max Mercury was wrong. If Bart dies in real life, he DOES get another life."

Pffft. Poor Max.
Just so long as Bart doesn't try microwaving his hair dry again.

--------------

psychicsaphie
You know, one of the coolest parts about this is that Superboy Prime is a dick, killed Kon, and generally shows complete disrespect and assholery to everyone, Supes, included.

And YET. If there is anyone in the big bad multiverse that actually scares him just a little, it's the Flashes for dragging him off to the Speed Force, and Bart for being one of the main ones to do it.

I hope he pounds his freakin' face in. GO BART!

(AND TIMMY GETS A FRIEND BACK YAY)

manofbats
He races to their base to try and stop them from bringing back Bart and the whole time he's trying to convince himself not to be scared.

psychicsaphie
AHAHAHAHA

Oh I can't wait to read this. AHAHAHA.

Him defacing Bart's grave during Sinestro Corps was a total dick move that you could tell was him just doing it because he could now that Bart was dead, trying to convince himself Bart didn't scare him.

So, the big threat that can give Superman a run for his money, killed tons of people and is is a throwback to silver age levels of power is terrified of the dopey kid with size 20 feet that used to think he could level up in real life. I LOVE it.

icon_uk
The thought of Bart makes EmoBoy Prime wet himself? Oh THAT wins right there and then!

electra_torch
I mustn't run away.
I mustn't run away.
I mustn't run away.

mugenhunt
"Superboy Prime, only you can pilot Evangelion Unit 01! It runs on emo!"

ninjapeps
I think that was the best part of the issue: big bad Superboy Prime in pants-shitting fear when he figures out what the Legion was trying to do.

And in unexpected news, two new possibilities on the Conner Kent(Kon-El) front.


Possibility #1

Now anyone following the "New Krypton" arc in DCU knows that Superman and Brainiac had a big duke-it-out near Kent farm. Brainiac went down. Pa Kent went down. Superman won.
When Brainiac went down, up in the North Pole Fortress of Solitude, Kandor(capital city of Krypton shrunken and put in a bottle by Brainiac) suddenly went full sized along with 100,000 Kryptonians.

That's right. 100,000 Kryptonians. On Earth.
~From some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow sun.~
They all get the Superman set of powers. They are not all nice, selfless Superman-like people. Superman is tradtionally the heaviest hitter in DCU. His ONLY weaknesses are a green space rock and magic. Historically, when anything causes Superman to go bad, the destruction is EPIK. They just can't really stop him effectively. It takes huge teams and Supes himself on the interior to stop that frieght train.
Now again, I'm telling you.
There are suddenly 100,000 Kryptonians on Earth.
Thus began the "New Krypton" arc.

Things are not going so well.
It's pretty much settling down a little now. After killing a few humans, basically declaring war on the Earth, brawling with the Justice League, inciting General Lane and the US government to start working some anti-Kryptonian measures like Kryptonite weapons and letting Lex Luthor out of jail to study Brainiac to find a way to use his technology, etc. (Not all in that order mind you.) Supergirl sucker-punched Superman, and sided with the Kryptonians. [I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO THE SPARKLE-NATION COUSIN KAL!!] Then they took Kandor and formed a new planet out of ice and those sparkle-ful Kryptonian crystals, orbiting on the exact opposite side of the sun from Earth. (This is not a real big commute for the Kryptonians though --if they decide to come visiting.)


So while all that was going on, we run across two new "Kryptonians" that seem to be on Superman's side. They wear masks and go by the names of two ancient/legendary Kryptonian heroes: Flamebird and Nightwing.
Except one problem.
One's shooting fire out of her hands (Flamebird), and the guy is using Tactile Telekinesis (Nightwing).
Neither of these are powers any real Kryptonian has ever possessed.

Many, many years ago, there was a Supergirl that could use fire like that. Except, she turned out to not be a Kryptonian at all. She was Linda Danvers, an Earth-Born Angel of Fire. She was killed off years ago, and she had lost all flame powers when she lost the Angel aspect even before her death.

And then there was Conner Kent/Kon-El a clone of Superman AND Lex Luthor, he is the only superhero in DCU history with the power of "Tactile Telekinesis" (other than one AU visitor Black Zero who was STILL just an alternate time line version of Kon). This was in use until his actual "Kryptonian Powers" manifested later in life. I believe the TTK was once explained as an intentional product of the genetic engineering done to create Kon because they did not seem to be able to duplicate Superman's Kryptonian powers (turned out it was a puberty-type issue and all the genetic engineering to manifest the TTK actually trapped Kon at 16 for many years).

Between the traditionally non-Kryptonian powers, the fact that no one else in the 100,000 Kryptonians running around have manifested those powers, the fact that Flamebird calls Nightwing "Kid" (an old nickname commonly used on Kon by his fellow S-shields like Linda and Supes)... has popular theory that somehow these two are Kon and Linda back from the dead.


Possibility #2

Now, on the other hand, there was a new development today, related to Conner, the crazy stuff going on with the Lantern Corps (specifically the Black Lanterns, and Lex's "New Krypton"-related adventures with Brainiac.




Lex: I've been ASKED ever so politely to unlock Brainiac's technology any way I CAN.
And, of course, I've DONE that. I'm currently in control of HIM, his ANDROIDS, and his SHIP.
Do you understand what this MEANS, gentlemen?

Lex: I'm going to be a FREE man.

Lex: BRAINIAC!



Random Guards: [strangled by Brainiac] NKKK! KKTCH!
Lex: I'd ask you to give General lane my regards--
--But I'll leave a NOTE.

Random Guards: [strangled by Brainiac] KRRTCH KRRTCH

[Lex and Brainiac approach Brainiac's ship]
Lex: You'd think they'd learn by now.
Lex Luthor is NO ONE'S prisoner.



Brainiac: You are mistaken, Lex Luthor.

Brainiac: BRAINIAC is no one's prisoner.

Brainiac: You believe your rudimentary control over my probes and my craft puts you in control of me.
Lex: [being choked by Brainiac] HK!
Brainiac: I allowed that, human. So I might be reunited with my bio-shell.

Brainiac: But we are not leaving this facility.
We are staying within these walls.
And I will tell you why...
...You and I are working together.

Scar: The book makes no mention of Brainiac...


Scar: ...No. There is ANOTHER Luthor will have control over...

[Big panel of Connor Kent flying towards the page, away from what looks like the Kent farm.]

Scar: ...But he is DEAD.
And WE control the dead.
For once I bear witness to the book of the black...

Scar: ...And I QUESTION what it shows me.
The DEAD will save you, Lex Luthor.
From Brainiac.
From Superman.
And from yourself.

[TO BE CONTINUED THIS JUNE IN
Adventure Comics #1]


Conner as a Black Lantern? I do not approve so much I think. Want live!Kon, not zombie!Kon. we have Match for the near-zombie levels of violent stupid.


Possibility #3

In "Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds" the three Brainiac 5s (they're a good guy descendent of the original Brainiac--Superman's enemy) say they have a 3-part plan for bringing Superboy-Prime down in the 31st century.

Part 1:
Recruit thier Superman, and three Legion of SuperHeroes from three alternate timelines to fight him.
Done. This is why we have the original, the reboot, and the 3boot Legions all playing together. In fact seeing the interactions is really funny even though I only really know the 3boot Legion and have a passing familiarity with the reboot Legion.

Part 2:
Bring Bart back via the lightning rod. Psychological warfare.
It's working.

Part 3:
Unknown. But it somehow involves sending a team back in time to when Supes was a boy, and collecting hair from Lex Luthor on the first day that it started fallingg out. (Ah, Lex!hair pre- descent into supervillain.)

Now why they wanted it and what Brainy's planning is still unclear. But this hair will give them genetic samples of both Lex and Clark in the 31st century. A few people are theorizing that this is so that they can clone a new Kon-El. The only guy other than Bart that really freaks Prime out. (Only, Prime killed Kon last time they met up.)



I swear. I ought to sit down with the "New Krypton" arc (and a couple of other DCU stories I follow) and just do a LAWL-filled capslock-walkthrough. Because Clark is just not committed to the Kryptonian SPARKLE-NATION.

One way or the other, I'm getting both Bart Allen and Connor Kent (Kon-El) back.
And SuperPRAT prime is terrified of Bart. This is just priceless.
I LOVE IT!


BOOM BABY, BITCHES!

Comments

Trust me, I'm a Senator

[pyro-ike.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely going to have to check out this multi-legion event thing, if only for the chance of cameos by Matter-Eater Lad. *is a sucker for obscure and amusing heroes*

Huzzah for return of the Bart! And the Black Lantern thing should be interesting, even if it does give us a Kon-bie. (See what I did there? :P)

[rara-aves.livejournal.com]

Huh, BLACK lanterns now? I suppose this will lead to all the other different lanterns having to team up out of necessity and somehow create the "white" lanterns then. Either way, they're bound to work in white lanterns at some point with the way they've been going.

Regardless, I just think the blue lanterns were a pretty cool addition.

[slai.livejournal.com]

Hi Becky,

I'm so confused o~O! Since I'm not following all the storylines, it's difficult for me to piece everything together! I hate multi-verses, and I thought DC promised NEVER to do it again. I guess never say never in the the comic world, right?

First multi-colored Lanterns, multi-colored Hulks, and now multi-verses! Thanks for the summary though! I GREATLY appreciate it! It makes things much clearer!