Oddness...
Apr. 18th, 2002 09:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfgroveIt seems so strange. Unreal. I just... Haven't been sad lately. Life has been fairly kind to me. Tuesday I just sat outside relaxing inbetween two classes when I got out early. It was nice. I wasn't really thinking aboput anything, just soaking up the world. The sky, how beautiful the sky was, from a third story outside stair case, I had so little blocking my view, it was pleasant. Just soaking up the world. It was nice. I won't say I was happy, there's too much inside, I don't know how to feel truly happy at tis point in life, but I was for the first time in a long time, relaxed, not focusing on anything.
Looking back at it now, It reminds me of when Neph anaylzed one of my rambling posts as me wanting some of the simplicity back in life. I think I had a pleasant hour and a half Tuesday of that simplicity.
On another note, I'm still having those collapsing spells. Not nearly as often though, or as bad, so I must be getting back to normal.
On yet another note, we saw a very odd video in Sociology today. It showed some very raw footage. It started showing a tribe of mercs who did this one celebration where the male warriors dressed up in women's clothing and did traditional dances, not too odd really. Then, that same group, as a latter part of the same festival, tied a bull to a pole, and one guy choped it's head clean off in one swoop. This was completely unedited closeups, and it showed about 6 or so slaughters, each from a different angle. My friend in that class was getting physically ill and left after the second beheading. The video then continued on to a "running of the bulls" in Portugal. I think I saw closeups of about 15 people getting gored by the bulls who had two and three spears(or something) lodged in their hides.
It was odd. It upset everyone in class so much, but I sat there and watched it, unblinking, just feeling nothing, except a little frustration at the idiotic waste of life on both sides. I think half the class got up and left after the second human was gored. The video continued, but the class time ran out, so we stopped. So odd. I felt so blank about it all.
Looking back at it now, It reminds me of when Neph anaylzed one of my rambling posts as me wanting some of the simplicity back in life. I think I had a pleasant hour and a half Tuesday of that simplicity.
On another note, I'm still having those collapsing spells. Not nearly as often though, or as bad, so I must be getting back to normal.
On yet another note, we saw a very odd video in Sociology today. It showed some very raw footage. It started showing a tribe of mercs who did this one celebration where the male warriors dressed up in women's clothing and did traditional dances, not too odd really. Then, that same group, as a latter part of the same festival, tied a bull to a pole, and one guy choped it's head clean off in one swoop. This was completely unedited closeups, and it showed about 6 or so slaughters, each from a different angle. My friend in that class was getting physically ill and left after the second beheading. The video then continued on to a "running of the bulls" in Portugal. I think I saw closeups of about 15 people getting gored by the bulls who had two and three spears(or something) lodged in their hides.
It was odd. It upset everyone in class so much, but I sat there and watched it, unblinking, just feeling nothing, except a little frustration at the idiotic waste of life on both sides. I think half the class got up and left after the second human was gored. The video continued, but the class time ran out, so we stopped. So odd. I felt so blank about it all.
Iniach
Date: 2002-04-18 08:32 pm (UTC)Re: Iniach
Date: 2002-04-18 09:21 pm (UTC)