(no subject)

[elfgrove]

"I may not have the right to say this, but I want to know the truth."
- Garr, Breath of Fire III

I want to know. I want to understand why people feel the way they do. Melissa asked me today to tell her maybe why she had fallen so hard for Marbee. Me. Explain emotions. Ri~ght... I don't understand them at all.
You can describe all of someone's good attributes. You can describe how good you feel when you see them. You can say it's pheremones.
But is that why you love them?
I don't think so. That's why you're attracted maybe. But when you take that cliff-side dive into the point where you've fallen in love? There's something deeper and more complex to that. And it can't be explained in terms I know. That's basically what I told her.

But I don't know. There's a difference between love and Love, and I don't know where that line is. Have I ever crossed it? Will I ever? How do you know?
People say when you fall in Love (the big L kind) you'll just know it. I don't know about that. I know I don't know. Is it that I've never hit that big L or anywhere even close to it? Because I've never not wondered if I was really in love or if it was something shallower. But honestly, I don't think it's simple enough as you'll just immedeately know. Otherwise we wouldn't spend so much time on this dating buisness.

Comments

i'm sorry but it's true...

[jokeyxero.livejournal.com]

I wish I had something better to tell you other than "you'll just know it." But that is the best description. I've fallen in Love once. Still am in love really, but I'm over it for the most part. There are certain side effects that help though. For one you still care for him/her fully and want only the best for him/her no matter what happens. You always tend to think the person is perfect [for you] despite any of his/her faults. No matter how much you analyze the relationship and think that it doesn't make sense it always just feels right anyway. Overwhelming happiness, anytime you're together. Slight depression, anytime you're apart. Everything reminds you of him/her. You'll eventually relate ANYTHING to that person. Of course you could have all of these signs and it just not feel right, so who knows. Those are just from my experience. Hell, may not even relate to anyone else, but that's all the things I noticed happening while we were together. Some of them still happen from time to time. *sigh*

anyway, </seriousness>

[reverie-shadow.livejournal.com]

Considering that I'm not that experienced in the "L" department, I know pretty much a lot about intimate human emotions.

I suppose the reason why people do fall in love is so that they don't have to be alone, so that whenever they fall they have something to hold onto, something that surpasses the "friendship" state, I guess, because if they don't, then they'll just keep falling. Yes, weird metaphore there, but its the best I can do. There are many philosophies about why people do feel these things, and the answers will always be different depending on who exactly you ask. That is what I think.

I don't run some advice collumn in the newspaper, but all I have to say to Melissa is that she better make sure that her feelings towards Marbee be as genuine as she thinks it is, otherwise she might end up hurting a very valuble friendship. I've seen this happen before and it hurts to just watch it happen, but it does.... To me its sort of weird to be dating someone who used to be my good friend...so...yeah, I dunno. Just make sure that she doesn't end up savotaging a worthwhile friendship. But then again, she's not my sister, so I don't think she'd do quite as bad a she would when it comes to relationships.

However, from what I comprehend, the difference between love and Love is that one is conditional, when someone is there to just hug you and talk you through a problem. Love is when someone is intimate, like touching hands and kissing, and when that feeling for that one person is so strong, you can see yourself seventy years from now and still together, that way, you know that you truly love someone, as well as feeling a strange ache in your heart that makes you excited and nervous all at the same time. That is my thing. I may add more to this later, though....

[anglachel.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I know much either. I do know that of the people I've dated, I remember all of them. Which isn't hard b/c I can almost count them on one hand, but I find myself thinking about each of them on a regular basis. I wonder about what ever happened to the one's that I've lost touch with. I can still recall funny little details about those relationships. It's funny what both love and Love can do to a person. It used to take me a very long time to get over someone, sadly I'm finding it very easy these days. Some call it maturity and some call it becoming desensitized. I'm not going to take either side on that issue though. My two cents, but I'm not going to claim to be right about anything. You know me. Do I ever know what I'm talking about?

The romantic cynic chimes in.

[lias.livejournal.com]

I'd be afraid of being called a stalker, except Lisa's standing behind me and laughing as I type this. Really, I'm just bored a lot. You seem pretty smart. Hope you and your friends don't mind me thumbing through your (public) pasts. If otherwise, just say something, I'll keep to myself.
end preamble.

Everyone said Love was the most beautiful thing they ever saw. Now nobody really seems to understand it. Thus it seemed to be with most of the people I met when I was in HS/college.
Love is an ambiguous thing. Everyone will tell you different. Nobody knows what Love is. Romantics form their ideas from poetry, and fairy tales, and their own vivid imaginations of the beauty around them. Naysayers build the word of Love out of bitter family feuds and beytrayal by friends, heartbreak, or worse. If you listen to what people have to say, you learn a lot of things. But, of course, there's no substitute for experience.

I met a girl at a large party when I was a Freshman in HS. I thought she was pretty. She was sitting behind a couch with a notebook, writing. I thought to myself "She's different from the others. She's not drunk. She's pretty." and so on and so forth. Not in those words, but you know how thoughts are. Something about the way a person talks and moves and looks when you first see them strikes you a certain way. It's appealing. No strike of lightning, no "I feel it! This must be love!", just "that person is different. I like it".
So I thought I was in Love.
Some beautiful times, many talks, a few arguments, a few fights, a not-quite-a-sexual-experience, a breakup, and one suicide later, I was a bit more pessimistic about life, and more than a bit cynical about Love.
A bit later, I got into another relationship. She persued me, and I lusted for her. I didn't think so at the time, but I know better now. I was drawn by the promise of things I knew nothing about. I was fascinated by her charm, and she knew how to use it to the fullest effect. In essence, I was being an idiot. Luckily, I realized this after a week of my real friends screaming my stupidity from the rooftops. Begging me to end it for my own good. She was a tramp and a slut. It lasted all of one week, and we never even did anything twadry. But I learned something. That feeling in the pit of your stomach, that strike of lightning... not necessarily Love. Scary.
I had two more "girlfriends" after that. Good times, good relationships, but I was not happy, or comfortable. If I asked myself "Is this what I want to have thirty years from now? Forever? If I'm in an aisle, and a minister asks me that question, could I honestly answer yes?" I never could. There was something missing, and I didn't know what it was. Those two, though we never went on in that way, are still among my closest friends.
I may not be in Love now. I really don't know anymore. But neither do I care so much anymore. Lisa is what I want. I'm happy. She's happy. We know each as well as anyone can know another person. There are no suprises.
Some people say "isn't that boring? No surprises, nothing left to learn?"
Not to me. At first it's always exciting, always scary and new and adventurous. When that wears off, you learn what you really mean to each other. Lisa knows I would never purposefully hurt her. I know she wouldn't betray my trust. Not really.
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies..."
You fight. You argue. You disagree. But when it's over, if you understand the other person beter than you did before.. If you accept that THAT is who they are, and realize that you can accept that.. if the other person feels the same way..
Maybe that's Love.

Maybe I'm a crackpot.

That's my $42. I hope it's useful.
Or at least entertaining.