Minnesota... Joy.
May. 27th, 2004 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
"What's Books-A-Million?"
"My bookstore, my pretty-pretty bookstore where I have a discount card and that doesn't exist in the North, kinda like Sweet Tea."
"We have Barnes and Noble."
"... Yes..."
"Where are you from?"
"Auburn, in south Alabama."
"Really? I didn't think your accent was that deep south."
"Very few people down there actually have bad accents."
[ ^ actual quotes from Minnesotians ^ ]
"I want to plead guilty."
"You want a plea bargain?"
"Yeah, can I get my sentence commuted to death?"
"Um... you just got shoplifting..."
"I know, but I want to go to prison for a while, free room and board, cable tv, nice gyms, I'd be set. Then, after 20 or 30 years, I die painlessly. No worries about the economy or society."
"Listen... I just can't do that."
"Listen judge, I really don't want to actually have to kill anyone to get this, but I will, I'll come kill you in your sleep if you don't give me the death penalty. I promise."
[My brother comes up with the funniest damn stuff on long roadtrips.]
"My bookstore, my pretty-pretty bookstore where I have a discount card and that doesn't exist in the North, kinda like Sweet Tea."
"We have Barnes and Noble."
"... Yes..."
"Where are you from?"
"Auburn, in south Alabama."
"Really? I didn't think your accent was that deep south."
"Very few people down there actually have bad accents."
[ ^ actual quotes from Minnesotians ^ ]
"I want to plead guilty."
"You want a plea bargain?"
"Yeah, can I get my sentence commuted to death?"
"Um... you just got shoplifting..."
"I know, but I want to go to prison for a while, free room and board, cable tv, nice gyms, I'd be set. Then, after 20 or 30 years, I die painlessly. No worries about the economy or society."
"Listen... I just can't do that."
"Listen judge, I really don't want to actually have to kill anyone to get this, but I will, I'll come kill you in your sleep if you don't give me the death penalty. I promise."
[My brother comes up with the funniest damn stuff on long roadtrips.]
no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-31 07:31 pm (UTC)I make my own tea, and don't order it at restraunts.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-28 08:25 am (UTC)Kage can be weirds sometimes. I keep forgetting.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-31 07:33 pm (UTC)Isn't he though? ^_^
Sadly yes I can.
Date: 2004-06-02 08:00 am (UTC)Re: Sadly yes I can.
Date: 2004-06-02 08:58 pm (UTC)That's right!
Update you silly thing.
^_^
no subject
Date: 2004-05-29 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-31 07:34 pm (UTC)